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1.
the ending i have been avoiding. for years, i've been stalling, i've lost sleep. i'm trying to find this amusing, but inside i'm bleeding profusely. i'm not here to play the victim, i don't care about wounds on my skin. so to this sadness and frustration, this is where i will leave you. i never left the cemetery where i should have been buried. i don't want you anymore.
2.
deadpan 01:53
i don't know if i'm sure what's going on, if i'm sure whats happening. the last few years have been strange. trying to find my place in this godforsaken misery. i'm not sure if i'm sad anymore, there's still an emptiness in me, i'm not sure what's going on. i spent the better half of my life trying to find the happiness i felt when i was nine. i'm still not there yet. not at the bottom of a bottle. i'm living on borrowed time. a still and quiet image, one day i'll make one of mine.
3.
jealous 02:09
i don't want to feel anything other than lust. it's not time for you to know how i really am yet but when i know you're out with someone else, i can't help but feel jealous, i'm jealous. whatever i can give will never be enough. it's not time for you to know there are better men out there. it's not my right to say, you're not my property. still, i can't help but feel jealous, i'm jealous. i hate that i am this way. maybe i'll get better some day. this sickness slowly consumes me with bad thoughts inside my head. still, you're not my property.
4.
marwood 02:36
i've returned back down to earth after trying to catch those stars for years. the clouds are hollow, my hands still empty, the sky never wanted me. i thought I would not ever die, I thought I won't ever grow old but now I'm trying to make it home again, I'm trying to make it home. i know I'll always hate this place and everywhere else I have been. i'm starting to think it's not the space around me but the person that I am. i know I'll always hate myself more than I hate everyone else. i know my failure wasn't anyone's fault, I can only blame myself.
5.
keep your secrets to yourself. i don't care if it's not comforting. i can't find a reason to believe that you truly mean the best for us. this house was made reclusive, how do you call it home? i'll be sure not to catch you whenever you might fall. you say you wish you've never met. you're the reason i'll never want to wed. a divorce is something you can't afford, so i guess it's till death do you part.
6.
i've made my peace with some of me. there are still parts i need to fix.
7.
inadequate 02:13
i want to be important. i want to stop hating myself. i want to like my body. i want to feel like im not in hell. i'm tired of all these voices in my head telling me to quit. i've always felt unworthy, insignificant and inadequate to exist in this place. i don't want to come back here anymore. it's just one of these days, i feel inadequate to exist in this place. i don't want to come back around here anymore.
8.
weathered 01:57
now it's time to go as we draw the curtains close. pats on all our backs for a mediocre show. i'm tired of being broke, still i'm always on the road. burned out at twenty-two, oh i feel so fucking old, cynical and cold. drag me by the feet, let me disappear from here. it's not my place to be and nobody will remember. the suits and crowns will play all your favourite, catchy tunes. while i'm turning in my grave, still my stomach's never full. here's one more for you. where do i sleep tonight with ghosts etched in my mind? you've got me through again but i won't be coming home tonight. where do i sleep tonight? i've lost my mind. you've got me through again, still i won't be coming home tonight.
9.
need new sorrows to write new stories before my hair turns grey. been two months since my last cigarette, need something new to fuck my head. a preemptive retrospective. married to a dead perspective. no need for cruel invectives. settle low on whole investments.
10.
spill my teeth out on the floor. my insides, you can't assure to be intact while you're gone. a tub of ice but im still sore. at least you left a needle and some thread. i guess i'll have to stitch myself again. take me back to when i could still be dead, now im left to be something less than being.
11.
serotonin 02:26
my saddest songs sing the pettiest problems. no roof can shelter me from rain. my middle-class upbringing made me too comfortable, now i can't afford the bus on some days. still, i have limbs and just enough wit, it's almost stupid for me to complain. i cut my losses, my glass still half empty. still, i have just enough for me to stay. but i don't have enough in my lungs to go on for too much longer, before i start to drown. after so long, now i'm not on my own, for the most parts at least, for the ones that i know. some nights, it still lingers, shivers down my spine. nothing goes away but nothing's really mine. can i be with someone more depressed than i am? i don't know. maybe we can put our heads together through a wall. it's just a passing phase. maybe tomorrow i can feel again.

credits

released March 31, 2016

produced by nicholas wong
engineered and mixed by cedric chew
mastered by alan douches
additional vocals by henning runolf, pontus carlsson and patrick kindlon

nicholas wong - vocals, guitar
brian chiong - bass, backing vocals
feroze mcleod - guitar
andrew kellocks - drums

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