1. |
white pills
03:21
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morning rushes to my head, confirming i was almost dead. white pills sprawled across the dresser, broken mirror broken bottles, i don't wanna wake up again.
all my nightmares are stuck on replay, its clear these scars won't go away. tonight, i'll drown myself again, another bottle in my hand. keep lying to myself tomorrow will be different.
again, i've been reduced to nothing. again, i found myself in a place i don't ever wanna be. broken bones may mend but there are new holes in hearts the size of trains.
as the poison moves from the pills in my hands, to the foam in my mouth, from the sore of my throat, to the pain in my guts, from the death of my brains, from these cold and swollen veins, i still feel the same, i still feel the same.
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2. |
withdrawal symptoms
02:56
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i've got to get out, but you've got me by the neck. another added weight on my breaking back. day by day, it's always the same. against your black heart, i want out of this game.
breaking necks to pass the time, counting heads to get me by. i'll tonight and i'll sleep to dream, dreaming of dying in my sleep.
we'll drive as far as we can go, but first let go of my throat.
i traced the fault lines, they bring me back to your feet. at your bedroom floor, where i scrapped my knees, now the settings of a reverie that's long forgotten, now just let me breathe.
our hands are full but we're holding on to nothing.
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3. |
everyone but me
03:12
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maybe those nights, i just wasn't on your mind, that's the only reason i can find.
maybe i just wasn't good enough, maybe i just wasn't good enough for you.
i waited for hours, i waited for days, i turned away, now its been two years and everyone moved on.
im always waiting for you to change, for you to tell me you'd do anything again to have your heart in the grasp of my hands, but that's just wishful thinking.
i waited for hours, i waited for days, i turned away, now its been two years and everyone moved on, everyone moved on but me.
your mistakes, they weigh me down. my insecurities have put me in the ground.
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4. |
sundown
02:30
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cold nights bring back worthless memories and now im giving up all that's left of me.
i wont come back, i wont come back.
i've been drifting for some, far too long and now, i am just about an inch from breaking out. my reflection makes me sick and i have to live with it.
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5. |
burden
03:42
|
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|
i appreciate the absence of chains around my feet, and im thankful for the open door and a chance to breathe.
but we're measured by this distance between these four walls, and we're reduced by this screaming and the slamming of doors.
this distance is too far for our hands to reach, and these bruises are too blue and these cuts are too deep.
i know how it is raising a fucked up kid like me. you don't have to bear this burden alone, for the last nineteen years, im sorry.
father, i dont blame you for drowning with the bottle.
father, i understand and i am soon to follow
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6. |
||||
|
boarding time, i left my heart behind, beside you on your bed, where i kissed you goodbye, but you dont care.
i'll trade my fingers to be home next to you, but i've got dues to pay, and you still won't see me through.
sleepless nights are followed by the sickest mornings and restless times. i still can't do this on my own, i still got nothing to show for
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7. |
the black plague
02:56
|
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i've been fighting demons in my head, staring at the ceiling, wishing i was dead.
im sorry, did my back hurt your knife?
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8. |
gunther
03:56
|
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|
this is getting to my head, i might be taking this too far. but too far just isn't good enough.
i've seen the end of the line, its so out of reach but i just can't help but to dream.
so don't say its over now, this words are spinning my head around. these empty hands, no they don't want to be vacant. don't say its over now.
im sinking deeper, closer to the bottom of the barrel, but they say i've still got so far to go.
but you haven't seen what i've seen and you haven't been where i've been forced to go.
i waited at every stop sign, i watched every car go around. i said "tonight, we'll leave town". but years have passed, and these tired legs, they slow me down. and the weight of the world, it only gets heavier. is it too late to run this around?
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9. |
another ballad
02:02
|
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|
we're a lost generation, no one will ever understand. but our feet gave up on us, they nailed these crosses to our nails. they said we didn't make no sense, they robbed us of our innocence. our demons are the only ones that hear our cries at night. what more can you take from me?
my heart is on my sleeve, my once-raised glass shattered and break into a million pieces along with my hopes and dreams. it seems the more i lose, the more you gain but still i wait for my cut, although this hope is wearing thin. what more can you take from me?
dear mother, here's another ballad for you. i lost the war and all my fears, they came true.
dear mother, here's another ballad for you. signed sincerely, your burden, your bastard son.
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10. |
temporary homes
02:58
|
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|
six hour drive and im thinking about everything i've lost. the last few weeks have taken so much from the battles that i've fought, to the fuel that will bring me home tonight but i'll walk. the brighter clouds have never seemed to be so far away.
and if the world don't turn tonight then i'll be sure that the seas won't part again. i've waited alone and i've let the curse of time and my paranoia eat me alive. and if you don't show tonight, then love is gone.
and if the world don't turn tonight then i'll be sure that the seas won't part again. i've waited alone for no one to show, and in the oath of my family's name, im bringing bread home before i leave again. and if you dont show tonight, then love is gone.
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||||
11. |
||||
|
my decorated failures, a spit on my ambitions. i watched as time slowly slips for the palms of my hands. eyes stained with dirt, knees buried in sand. i stood vacant and just let it happen.
and i let myself down again.
the ghosts in my closet remind me of my regrets. jumping the fences but time does not forget. finally admitting to my short-comings. i stood vacant and just let it happen.
and i let myself down again.
sometimes i just wanna watch the world burn at my feet.
|
||||
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